What We Hate About Valentine’s Day

Published February 4, 2013 by Tabby
The unloved bear

The bear with no love

Ok I’m going to be a Bitter Betty for this post. Don’t worry, there will be a happy one to follow much closer to the actual holiday. And before you start thinking this, I am not the stereotypical single girl that is angry at her condition. I am in a long-term relationship and remember the stress I feel regarding almost every single Valentine’s Day. Not all single girls hate Valentine’s Day and not all those in committed relationships love it.

-Single or coupled, if you didn’t make a reservation in January, your options for going out to dinner are limited to the local fast food drive-through.

And seeing that in many situations the men want to plan the holiday, it is the day before and they have yet to figure anything out. Working at Walgreens with a convenient aisle de Valentine, the night before and the day of Valentine’s was busier than Black Friday with men frantically snatching leftover bottles of old-woman perfume and poor teddy bears. A holiday that requires men to plan? That’s like a recipe for disaster. (Although not all the time, depending on the man). And if I know I’m having to plan it, I get a little bitter that it’s just one more thing I have to plan in addition to the rest of my life.

 -The hour of our lives we waste every year in the greeting card aisle, looking for the perfect one. The stress of choosing an appropriate gift

Or the perfect gift. I sympathize with Sheldon Cooper on how difficult and stressful gift giving is. Is it too much? Too little? Too corny? Not appropriate for the amount of time dating? I find men very hard to buy for, especially those that are not into tools or sports teams. After two years I’ve gotten better but gift buying still brings on additional stress.

Sheldon Cooper’s theory on gift giving:

 -The often unrealistic expectations placed on men

I do sympathize with men on this one. They face many of the same difficulties covered in this entire post. In addition, it becomes even more daunting when you’re trying to please someone with unrealistic expectations of the fairy tale that their life should be. I blame too many Disney and romance movies.

 – The 24/7 romantic comedy marathon on TV during the month of February either makes you feel like a loser for being single or makes you resent your boyfriend for not being John Cusack.

This is why I hate watching “chick flicks.” I always get wrapped up in the story during the movie, thinking ‘oh my god how incredibly sweet and devoted they both are.’ Then when the movie ends, I find myself in a deep depression, hating my life because it never works out and that men do not have professional writers telling them how to say the perfect thing and be at the right place in the right time. By the way, my favorite ending to a movie is Easy A because Todd pays attention to her blog (gasp!) and recreates several of her favorite endings to ‘80s movies. It’s at least a little more realistic.

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The ending of Easy A.

 -If you’ve had anything resembling a date in the past two months, it always prematurely launches the “where is this going?” conversation.

In the words of Pauly D, “AWKWARD!” Or even worse you could not have the conversation. I once dated a guy who took me to lunch on Valentine’s Day but never once mentioned what day it was. I’ve never been a huge fan of the holiday but at the end of the meal I told him “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He got all flustered, drove me quickly to my parked car (that was elsewhere), and sped away. Wow.

 -If you’re single and lucky enough to have three close, single girlfriends, you can’t go out for drinks with them without being a cliché.

If I were single I would definitely go out with girlfriends just to get out of the house, do something fun, and escape those stupid non-stop romantic comedies. But the pitying looks from others is maddening. So is the assumption of many single men that since I may be single on Valentine’s I am going to pathetically throw myself into your bed.

 – They don’t make Valentine’s Day cards for friends-with-benefits or “I think I like you but it’s too soon to tell.”

For those of you in this situation, good luck. It’s another awkward time of life.

 -We just started paying off our credit card bills from holiday shopping – our bank statements can’t handle another gift.

Personally, with the way my finances fall, I am guaranteed to be absolutely broke and literally eating ramen every single day in January and February. This is not because I’m irresponsible with Christmas spending, but because several large bills come due at this time I am unable to save for previously in the year. By the time February rolls around, I really want to get that special someone something spectacular but then have to wonder how many meals I’m going to have to skip.

 -Finding enough of another thing as rare as money for me: time

Every February I like to do something for the holiday but in working two jobs and earning my Ph.D. it’s almost an impossible task. I usually have to pull at least one all-nighter or be an unpleasant bear in order to move my schedule around and get enough done so that I can be able to even go to that dinner.

 -The amount of chocolate and candy I consume

Easter and Valentine’s Day have the best candy and chocolate EVER. Most of the year I really don’t eat a lot of sweets because I really don’t have much of a craving for them. This is blown to hell in February and April.

 -It enhances awareness that your relationship is in a rut

Everyone’s relationship has those down times, or are in a rut at some point. If that happens around Valentine’s Day it really sucks and makes you feel worse about it. When commercials and other couples are perfectly happy being sappy together, you’re left wondering what to do with your significant other. The excitement in planning a dinner or getaway is replaced with the guilt that maybe you don’t really feel like it right now.

 -It’s engagement season

My addition is that it’s “engagement season.” While I am very happy for my peeps finding the love of their life with the courage to actually ask them, all these photos of engagement rings force me to wonder where my long-term nonmoving relationship is going. Or if single, it may make one wonder if that will ever happen for them. By all means share your engagement news but don’t overdo it and be conscious if you’re telling your friend as they are sobbing from a breakup.

What do you hate about Valentine’s Day?

 Some Notes

“Ten Reasons We Hate Valentine’s Day, Marie Claire http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-things-hate-valentines-day-175700295.html (accessed January 31, 2013).

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