Thirty Things to Do Before You’re Thirty-As of Today I Have Five Years
This has been on a few articles and blogs. I first saw it on my friend Mary’s blog and thought it a good idea to kind of think of these things before you reach thirty. Being that yesterday my twenty-fifth birthday I thought I’d go through and see which ones I’ve accomplished and which ones to work on.
By age thirty, you should have…
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
Um, no definitely not one I could ever imagine going back to. I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends but I can definitely see growth in myself from an earlier relationship. I discovered I will not be pushed around, manipulated, or told what to do. I am my own person.
2. A decent piece of furniture no previously owned by anyone else in your family.
I still need to work on this one. Most of my furniture is from my family still (but it’s nice!). I did buy a TV stand, a coffee table, and an L-shaped desk. But they are from Walmart so “decent” may not be the correct term.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Done, thanks to my stylish friends. A pencil skirt and form-fitting button up with matching cardigan. I would have a different outfit for the man but I’ve found that men love the sexy librarian look.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Purse yes. Suitcase and umbrella…no, they are a little worse for wear.
5. A youth you’re contented to move beyond.
I’ve learned lessons from it I need so there is nothing more left to mine.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
Hmm…not so much. I was pretty tame and boring. I have a few fun stories…like when I was a little tipsy and somehow turned a piece of cake into an apple.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age-and some money set aside to help fund it.
I was already doing this at age eighteen but had to use some of that for survival. Also being in graduate school doesn’t leave anything leftover. But I will save, probably starting when I’m thirty.
8. An email address, a voicemail, and a bank account-all of which nobody has access to but you.
A professor I had once said every woman should control her finances and her fertility. I have all of the above and have no intention of sharing.
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Well, technically a c.v. since I’m in academia. I’m very happy with it to this point and I’ve worked very hard but I still get excited every time I get to add something new.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
I have screwdrivers, borrow the drill when needed, and own the bra. My grandpa bought me a toolkit first thing when I moved out. Most useful gift ever.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
My car. After the divorce and watching my previous dreams fly out the window I bought myself the car I wanted, for me. It could also count as a need too. My 2000 Pontiac Grand Am hadn’t technically died yet but was held together with electrical and duct tape and chicken wire. I even carried a small sledgehammer-the electronics wouldn’t work unless I hit a specific spot on my dash. I almost miss the scared looks from other people in parking lots.
13. The belief that you deserve it
Definitely. I had my first professional career job and had been through a lot.
14. A skin care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after thirty.
I constantly battle to make my skin the best but I could work a little more on the exercise. I do yoga but need more cardio and weights. As for a plan? Nope, I’ll probably wake up one morning after age thirty and see everything that’s gone south all at once.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
Two satisfying careers have begun, one healthy relationship, and the realization that things get better.
By thirty you should know…
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
That’s not so much a problem anymore but it used to be. Now I have the opposite problem of holding myself back too much.
2. How you feel about having kids.
I want kids no earlier than age twenty eight and no later than thirty two or thirty three. I really need to stop reading articles on genetics that can be passed on though.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
I can quit a job easily if mistreated or angry. But then I feel guilty if I’ve just gotten a better job and need to move on. I’ve never had to break up with a man, usually I wait until they do it (I know, that’s really bad). And I’m severely non-confrontational so that last one probably wouldn’t be an accomplishment either.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
I’m the absolute worst at this. I will work and try for way too long, even when I know it’s something that can’t be fixed.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
I hope so…I wouldn’t be able to answer that one myself though.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
Yes, yes, and I can fix my own clothes.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
Are you kidding me? I loved living alone!! But maybe it’s because I was so busy I was never really home. I love living with my boyfriend now but still relish when I get the apartment to myself for a few hours.
8. Where to go when your soul needs soothing.
Yoga, yoga, and…yoga. It’s amazing how much this practice I’ve been doing for three years has made. Physically I’m correcting some issues, and emotionally as well. When I’m standing on my head I can’t think of anything else or I’ll drop myself.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
Yep, so true. I’ve learned to love my legs and hips and acknowledged that the latter are getting bigger with age, even without weight gain. I accepted my parents a long time ago and have had no problem since.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect but it’s over.
For me, thank god my childhood is over. I think those that truly have had a horrid one, or part of one, can look back and wish they would have had a normal upbringing, but I’m always thankful I had the experiences I did. It made me a stronger and more responsible person, not because I learned to be but because I had to be.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
This is an easy one for me…except for maybe when I get my tuition bill for the semester…just kidding! There’s a lot I wouldn’t do for money. Love, however, I think we all do things we shouldn’t because love is what we want most in life. It’s learning how to give yourself to someone without losing yourself in the process.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
So true. I don’t like any of these and fear the dentist, so I floss regularly.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
This is a tough one. I’m not a trusting person anyway, and aspects of life have made that even more difficult. It makes me sad when I can see that I should trust someone and I just can’t. It takes me years, even when the person doesn’t deserve my withholding. I used to take it personally if I wasn’t trusted, but then I always think of how hard it is for me to trust and that I have no right to question anyone else.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
I’m really, really bad at this one. Since I was a child, I’d sometimes apologize for things that wasn’t my fault so other people would stop fighting. I saw apologies as a quick way to diffuse tense situations. But that’s not what an apology is supposed to be. At other times, I don’t want to apologize because I’m stubborn and am sorry that I have upset someone but still stand by what I said/did. It’s all about finding the middle ground.
15. Why they say life begins at thirty.
Because it takes that long to find yourself and learn to love yourself. That’s part of the journey of life. I can’t wait.