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‘I’m Sorry, I’m Busy’: A Chaotic Schedule and Added Stress of Those Who Don’t Understand

Published December 13, 2014 by harleyquinnly

I am not writing this blog to sound pretentious or as a ‘look at me! I’m so important because I’m so busy!’ I am writing it because I have been under an immense amount of stress from grad school requirements but additional stress has been added by ‘friends’ that do not understand the work it takes and why I am unavailable for long periods of time. I constantly tell them ‘thank you, but I have to work on my paper’ and send them pictures of the piles of papers/books taking over my house, and yet every time I have a due date, I am bombarded with guilt trip text messages (“you could make time if you wanted to”) or people that flat out refuse to speak to me. I am tired, and tired of it. So here is a look at my typical week’s schedule. This is why I am unavailable and why someday I’ll be called doctor.

(Side note: I am eternally grateful for the wonderful friends I have that understand my schedule, never complain at me, and appreciate when I am able to see them. Thank you.)

This is literally my home office. And I'm normally a super clean person.

This is literally my home office. And I’m normally a super clean person.

I will gladly acknowledge that it is not the easiest to be my friend. I have to check out for weeks at a time when due dates come up. I am not always available for a hangout. Sometimes I have to go months without seeing people. I could remember to check up on people more often. But I do not deserve the added stress just because I am an extremely busy person.

Just one pile of books.

Just one pile of books.

The Schedule

Weekdays: 

8 a.m. to 5 p.m.: Work

Yes, I am a full time student and I have a full time job. I don’t choose to have this life, it was what I was dealt. I am financially unable to only attend school without working and I happen to like food and shelter. I am also unwilling to take out tens of thousands of dollars of student loans I will never be able pay off. There are next to no jobs for history Ph.D.s and those that do exist often do not pay enough to survive on, much less added loan payments. Excuse me for being financially responsible. (I am not throwing shade at those who have students. You do what you have to do. I’m meaning the unnecessary ones).

6 to 7:30 p.m.: Workout then Dinner

The commute home takes me an hour due to traffic, idiocy, and a lack of infrastructure for growing populations. I workout for half an hour (just because I’m busy doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be healthy). I make dinner quickly and watch whatever is on tv at the time, usually a rerun of “The Big Bang Theory.”

I love Sheldon. And feel like a villain the more I'm in school.

I love Sheldon. And feel like a villain the more I’m in school.

7:30 to ~11 p.m. Schoolwork

I spend every evening of every single workday working on schoolwork. This month I have large essays due that require a lot of incorporated reading. I literally do not leave my ‘command center’ I’ve set up on my kitchen table every. single. evening. Therefore, I do not have time to do anything else.

My "command center" on my kitchen table. I live here.

My “command center” on my kitchen table. I live here.

Me in my favorite recliner.

Me in my favorite recliner.

My One Free Day

I usually allow myself one evening a week for free time. Think about if you were working from 8 a.m. until ~10 p.m. without a break. What would you feel like doing on your rare break? Sometimes I get free movie tickets and go see a movie with a friend/date. Other times I just want to veg out on my couch with my non-judgmental friend, Netflix. I apologize for not instantly running to you for your social needs. Also, with only one night out a week, I can only see so many people in that limited amount of time.

Weekends

Hey, it’s the weekend so I have all this free time, right? Nope. Because I work during the weekday, weekends are the only time I get to get work done for long spans of time. When I have papers due, these are the days that I write them.

9 to 10 a.m. Breakfast and Wake Up Time

I usually let myself sleep in until 9 a.m. This is catch-up sleep for me. I get up, make my eggs and tea, and relax for an hour on my couch. I am human and need a little relax time interspersed.

10 to 10:30 a.m. Shower

After breakfast, I shower. Unless I have to see something or do something outside my house, I don’t do hair or makeup and stay in yoga pants.

10:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. or sometimes until 4 a.m.

I work on schoolwork the entire day, taking about an hour for lunch and dinner. I sometimes stay up until 4 a.m. because I have a due date and it’s okay if I’m completely sleep-deprived at home rather than at work. These are full days working on schoolwork. I understand people don’t get that I have so much of a workload I have to work this long on weekend. I do.

My dinners usually look like this.

My dinners usually look like this.

So, in conclusion, I have taken time out of my study schedule to detail my schedule. Hopefully it inspires further understanding but I’ve done all I can do. This is my life, please understand or at least respect it.

In Marriage

Published May 24, 2014 by harleyquinnly

20140524-223504-81304359.jpg“I have always been petrified of marriage – absolutely afraid. I’ve felt like once I would get married, someone would want to change me, and I would have no choice but to become this locked-up specimen in a box. I’m worried about losing my freedom of expression. People who meet me go, ‘Oh, you’re really fun and wild’. Then as soon as they get to know me, they go, ‘Well don’t do that’. And then I don’t do it. And I become this separate person from who I was. Then I resent the person who was trying to change me.”

Sandra Bullock

I don’t believe marriage is a horrible thing, but with the wrong person it can chew you up and then spit you out, forever leaving scars. Though those scars may fade, they’ll always be there.

To those of you who are in a happy, healthy relationship/marriage, count yourself very lucky.

Fate, Not Luck: Where I Was Always Supposed to Be

Published May 9, 2014 by harleyquinnly

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 Have you ever lost something/someone in your life or felt you were heading in a wrong direction, or at least the one you weren’t meant for? Four years ago I lost the person most dear to me. When I say loss I don’t mean death. I mean a severing of every ounce of my being as they chose a direction in life that didn’t include me. After intense mourning I picked myself up and sought a pleasing path in life. Now, in an uncomprehending turn of events, he has come back. And he still feels like home.

What happens when you get off track for years and then the option comes back? Maybe this option is back because that was the track you were always meant to be on. Perhaps you have to be away from it for a while to grow and learn to fully appreciate it. I always felt like my life was half-assed after the end of us. Not because I didn’t try, I broke myself trying so hard to find/make something right. To have a new dream, a new path in life. But nothing ever felt right. I felt like I was living in this horrible limbo, with nothing I could do to ever make anything right.

With the events in both our lives in the past four years apart without any contact, I believe that we would have eventually found each other again. We both had experiences that forced us to learn the lessons we needed to understand each other. This time, for the first time since May 13, 2011, I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. Maybe we can talk naturally like nothing ever happened because we were always meant to be together. It was fate, not luck.

But now there are choices. I can keep stumbling through life, lost, with the hope that I find a path I want, even though deep down I know one doesn’t exist for me. Or I have the opportunity to get back on track, have the life I was always meant to have. Both comes with risk: in the first option I could live forever in limbo. In the second I could lose him and have to experience the severing again.

Oddly after the first contact, I felt no anger. I felt a rush of emotion I haven’t been able to feel in four years. I simultaneously wanted to cry and smile. Even though I had clung to so much hurt and anger for years, in that instant I realized I had let it go. He said everything I’d wanted, and more importantly, needed, to hear all along and never realized it. Even though I am in no way a risk-taker, I knew this was where I was supposed to be. It was where he was supposed to be. This is how we find a home, it’s how we make a life.

I loathe to admit it, but I am so scared…and excited. Just like when we first met when I was seventeen years old I giddily await his message, cling to every word, and for the first time in years, care about someone. I don’t have to pretend, or tell myself this is what emotion will feel like for the rest of my life. It’s there, I know it’s always been there.

In this exciting, terrifying, and beautiful time, I have turned to music as I always do. This song by Ellie Goulding perfectly speaks to me.

 

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” I Know You Care”

Clinging to me

Like a last breath you would breathe
You were like home to me
I don’t recognize the street

Please don’t close your eyes
Don’t know where to look without them
Outside the cars speed by
I never heard them until now

I know you care
I know it has always been there
But there’s trouble ahead, I can feel it
You are just saving yourself when you hide it

Yeah, I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I’ll be saving myself from the ruin
And I know you care

I used to run down the stairs
To the door and I thought you were there
Do you shape through to the comfort of us?
Two lovers loved out of love

Oh, but I know you care
I know it is always been there
Thought there was trouble ahead, I can feel it
You are just saving yourself when you hide it

Yeah, I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I’ll be saving myself from the ruin

And know it wasn’t always wrong
But I’ve never known a winter so cold
Now I don’t warm my hands in your coat
But I still hope

‘Cause this is how things ought to have been
And I know the worst of it wasn’t all that it seemed
Why can’t I dream?
Why can’t I dream?

‘Cause I know you care
And I know you care
I know you care
I know you care
I know it’s always been there

Things Every Twenty-Something is Tired of Hearing

Published April 10, 2014 by harleyquinnly

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Have you ever felt any of these?

1. What do you really want to do with your life?

I don’t freaking know right now. I don’t even know what I want for dinner. Isn’t this the time in my life I’m supposed to be figuring that out? How can I figure it out before I figure it out?

2. Did you buy [insert anything here] with your own money?

No, I just made a wish on broken hopes and promises and it appeared on a glittery unicorn. I sacrificed and ate peanut butter and condiments for months but now I have a real mattress.

3. You could always move back in with your parents.

Yeah, because my parents took care of me and raised me, pushing me to be successful in school and work to just have me depressingly move back in with them. If I move back in with them I have officially failed, or my life has gone awry somewhere. If some catastrophe happens, like I randomly get laid off, and I have to, let’s just not talk about it.

4. You do want to get married eventually, right?

Don’t even get me started. I’m still figuring things out, including what I want. But when you say it like that, what if I don’t? Am I an alien with lobsters crawling out of my ears if my life goal is to work hard, achieve my dreams, and do something else? Oh wait, I missed the memo from the 1950s that my goal in life is to get married and procreate. My bad.

5. So, have you had a lot of different jobs?

I’ve always wished in job interviews I could really say what I want to answer this one. Yes, I’ve had several jobs. I’d stay there until I was running the entire store by myself because my stoned out coworkers had been fired or just disappeared. And after my soul had been lost and my hope for humanity demolished after repeated interaction with the general public. Oh, and the job I had where I was attacked by a customer, the one where I smelled like fish from cleaning tanks all day, had my fingers chewed by hamsters and parakeets…I should’ve stuck with those minimum wage jobs?

6. Good thing you’re young and don’t have to worry about health insurance.

*Sigh* Even if I had absolute perfect health (which I don’t) I still get sick even though I avoid everyone that appears to have a plague. Oh, and I’m female which means that I have a body part that requires its own doctor, medication, and care!

7. You must be good at the internets.

Yeah…just stop. Just because I’m in my twenties doesn’t mean I can troubleshoot your computer…but I can plug it in and turn it on. I received the administrator rights to my work’s social media once because ‘hey, you’re in your twenties, you know how to do this.’ Nevermind that I had no experience/knowledge in online marketing. (Thankfully I learned).

8. Have you tried online dating?

Um, no. That’s fine if it’s your thing but I attract stalkers and have been assigned my own police detective for retraining orders by meeting people the old fashioned way.

9. When are you going to get a real job?

I HAVE A REAL JOB. Even one that I went to college for. I’ve had a professional job for four years-stop assuming I’m still working at Walgreens (no offense if you are, you’ll get out someday) It’s not my fault the professional job pays less than the jobs my noneducated friends work. So shut up.

10. You don’t need to make that much money, you’re just starting out.

Yeah…I totally just called the electric company and they said I could skip the bill because I was just starting out. My hopes and dreams would fuel the power for a little while longer.

I have bills just like any one else of any age, I just don’t have any children. I have to pay for shelter, food, transportation, healthcare, etc.

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11. How do you feel about turning thirty?

Um, I don’t know. Ask me when I turn thirty.

12. How much do you pay in rent?

I’d rather talk about anything else but the unspeakable amount of money I’m paying to live in a place where I can hear the neighbor’s sex, see/smell drug deals, and dive for the floor when you hear people outside arguing because you’ve been through a drive-by.

13. Your biological clock is ticking…

See number four…and f*%& off.

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14. You could consider freezing your eggs and then using a surrogate. 

No offense to those who have, but that process deserves a purple heart medal. It’s painful and super expensive. Plus a little weird. But I just adopted a cute new kitten!

15. How much debt do you have?

Um…well, I am an American and have gone to college…Shut up. (And no, I’m not irresponsible with me money. I spent it on useful, well hopefully, things like education and health care).

16. You know, the right person will come around when you least expect it.

This would be more comforting if we were talking about the pizza delivery boy.

17. These are the best years of your life.

I’m utterly depressed and don’t want to see the rest of my life. I’m suffering through the constant anxiety, frustration, poverty, etc. clinging desperately to the hope that I’m working this hard so someday, maybe someday, I can afford name brand shampoo.

This original article/list is from Buzzfeed at http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/things-every-20-something-is-tired-of-hearing. I’ve just added my own comments.

From Someone Who Likes Valentine’s Day

Published February 14, 2013 by harleyquinnly

Happy Valentine’s Day

I previously wrote a blog post on why we hate Valentine’s Day and immediately set down to write why I love Valentine’s Day. Then I discovered, ‘hey, I really don’t.’ The thing I enjoy most about Valentine’s Day really isn’t about the holiday, it’s just that the holiday gives me a chance to do those things. My favorite part is having a holiday with just the two of us, without having to go out and be with other people. We get uninterrupted “us” time on our short weekend getaway. That is my absolute favorite part. But honestly we should show love and affection without having to have a holiday to force us to do so.

However, I found a cheekily written article by someone who does like the holiday itself and thought I would share it for the sake of festivity.

Jennifer Wright, “Why I Love Valentine’s Day and Why You Should Too,” The Gloss, http://www.thegloss.com/2011/02/09/sex-and-dating/why-i-love-valentines-day-and-you-should-too/ (accessed January 31, 2013).

“I love Valentine’s day. And no, I’m not just saying that due to a healthy  dose of iconoclasm.

Okay. I am a little bit, because I think there are too many spray-tanned   girls running around shrieking giddily about how they hate V-Day, and how it’s  just awful, and I  was to be different like Daria  and Wednesday  Addams. But I am sincere  in my love for Valentine’s Day.

Why?

Why not? It’s fantastic. It’s a holiday. Holidays by their very nature  mean  parties and drinking and having an excuse to dress up in unusual  outfits. Who  hates holidays? You see people running around bitching  about how much they hate  St. Patrick’s Day? Really? Who? Leprechauns?

On a personal, stupid level, I love Valentine’s day because pink is my   favorite color. Look, if you ever ask me my favorite color, I will stare  at you  like you’re a moron and reply “puce.” Real talk: I’m going to  lie to your face.  That’s because I know after a certain age it’s  ridiculous to have a favorite  color, but secretly, I do, and it’s pink. I  like it because it’s a happy,  cheerful color that reminds me of cupcake  frosting, and Funny Face and  the “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend”  number. However, because I want to be  taken seriously if I ever go into  meetings, I generally wear gray, black or  navy blue dresses. Valentine’s Day is an excuse to break out my little pink  Jackie Kennedy dress, and  that’s enough for me. If nothing else happened, I’d  like it just on the  merit of that. I think a lot of people have a heart  necklace, or a red skirt, or something else they don’t break out daily that’s  appropriate for the occasion, and I like that.

But maybe you don’t think pink. That’s fine. Your loss, loser.

You like parties?

Oh, good, because one of your friends is having one! I almost guarantee  you  they are. Oh, for heaven’s sake, go check Facebook. Yes, you’re  invited. Go  there, dance on a Monday, buy some champagne ostensibly “for  the party” and  drink half of it yourself. Will it be fun? Yes, it will  be! You’ve got half a  bottle of Bolly in your belly, and it’s fine,  because even though it’s a  Monday, it’s also Valentine’s Day! Now get up  there and sing all the words to “Tonight I’m Fuckin’ You”!

Wait, you say you’re a hermit? Hey, that’s cool. Me too. Valentine’s  Day was  made for hermits like us! Why? Because this is the day that  you’re most likely  to have a romance start without having to endure any  manner of social  awkwardness. Like, normal outside non-lepers, they go  out to “the clubs” and… I  honestly have no idea. They do things, and  then they are dating people.

But hermits like us? We really have to wait  until someone sends us a 50 page “sonnet” (words written in crayon, blood, none of them rhyming) that likens us  to a minor  battle in the Peloponesian War (THIS IS A LOVE TIP FOR MEN READING  THIS  ARTICLE) before we can realize that they’re interested in us. There is a  higher than average possibility of this happening on Valentine’s Day. I’m not  saying it’s necessarily going to happen, but the odds are way better than they  are on your run of the mill day.

It’s a day full of a lot of possibilities, that’s what I’m saying.

And yes, the possibilities extend as much to single people as they do to  people in relationships. I think one of the principal complaints leveled against  Valentine’s dayis that it’s a holiday to make single people feel bad. No. It’s  not. It’s a holiday to boost sales for greeting card companies and florists – just like every other holiday. And, like every other holiday, it pretty  much is what you make it.

You’re worried that you’ll feel like a loser because no one gets you a card  or flowers? Jesus, God, do you have any idea how many people love you? If you  want some drugstore candy, just talk to your friends/family/fellow lepers  beforehand. Say you sort of want to celebrate. Or just slip them a note saying “you’re my Valentine now, bitch. Gird your loins. I’m buying you something  meaningless or edible.” Either way.

I have a pact with one of my friends that, regardless of whether we have  boyfriends/girlfriends, we are always each other’s Valentine. So we do something  to commemorate the day. Sometimes he gets me flowers, sometimes I rip off a  Barbie Doll’s head, hide her body in his apartment weeks beforehand with a heart  shaped piece of cardboard on which I’ve scrawled “You Make Me Lose My Head Like  Anne Boleyn.” Obviously, there are different ways to say “I Love You.” If you  have romantic love that is fantastic. That’s seriously great.  But romantic love  is just one piece of the love pie, not the crust,  filling and whipped cream on  top. There’s nothing wrong with a holiday that reminds us to say “I Love You” to  people we, you know, love. And it’s better when it’s an excuse for you to buy  them an ice cream cake which you will “share” with them.

Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is just another holiday. It’s supposed to be fun.  Figure out what will make it fun for you, and then do that. I can’t say what  that is, but I’m guessing ice cream cake and champagne is a good start.”

So to all, Happy Valentine’s Day.

What We Hate About Valentine’s Day

Published February 4, 2013 by harleyquinnly
The unloved bear

The bear with no love

Ok I’m going to be a Bitter Betty for this post. Don’t worry, there will be a happy one to follow much closer to the actual holiday. And before you start thinking this, I am not the stereotypical single girl that is angry at her condition. I am in a long-term relationship and remember the stress I feel regarding almost every single Valentine’s Day. Not all single girls hate Valentine’s Day and not all those in committed relationships love it.

-Single or coupled, if you didn’t make a reservation in January, your options for going out to dinner are limited to the local fast food drive-through.

And seeing that in many situations the men want to plan the holiday, it is the day before and they have yet to figure anything out. Working at Walgreens with a convenient aisle de Valentine, the night before and the day of Valentine’s was busier than Black Friday with men frantically snatching leftover bottles of old-woman perfume and poor teddy bears. A holiday that requires men to plan? That’s like a recipe for disaster. (Although not all the time, depending on the man). And if I know I’m having to plan it, I get a little bitter that it’s just one more thing I have to plan in addition to the rest of my life.

 -The hour of our lives we waste every year in the greeting card aisle, looking for the perfect one. The stress of choosing an appropriate gift

Or the perfect gift. I sympathize with Sheldon Cooper on how difficult and stressful gift giving is. Is it too much? Too little? Too corny? Not appropriate for the amount of time dating? I find men very hard to buy for, especially those that are not into tools or sports teams. After two years I’ve gotten better but gift buying still brings on additional stress.

Sheldon Cooper’s theory on gift giving:

 -The often unrealistic expectations placed on men

I do sympathize with men on this one. They face many of the same difficulties covered in this entire post. In addition, it becomes even more daunting when you’re trying to please someone with unrealistic expectations of the fairy tale that their life should be. I blame too many Disney and romance movies.

 – The 24/7 romantic comedy marathon on TV during the month of February either makes you feel like a loser for being single or makes you resent your boyfriend for not being John Cusack.

This is why I hate watching “chick flicks.” I always get wrapped up in the story during the movie, thinking ‘oh my god how incredibly sweet and devoted they both are.’ Then when the movie ends, I find myself in a deep depression, hating my life because it never works out and that men do not have professional writers telling them how to say the perfect thing and be at the right place in the right time. By the way, my favorite ending to a movie is Easy A because Todd pays attention to her blog (gasp!) and recreates several of her favorite endings to ‘80s movies. It’s at least a little more realistic.

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The ending of Easy A.

 -If you’ve had anything resembling a date in the past two months, it always prematurely launches the “where is this going?” conversation.

In the words of Pauly D, “AWKWARD!” Or even worse you could not have the conversation. I once dated a guy who took me to lunch on Valentine’s Day but never once mentioned what day it was. I’ve never been a huge fan of the holiday but at the end of the meal I told him “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He got all flustered, drove me quickly to my parked car (that was elsewhere), and sped away. Wow.

 -If you’re single and lucky enough to have three close, single girlfriends, you can’t go out for drinks with them without being a cliché.

If I were single I would definitely go out with girlfriends just to get out of the house, do something fun, and escape those stupid non-stop romantic comedies. But the pitying looks from others is maddening. So is the assumption of many single men that since I may be single on Valentine’s I am going to pathetically throw myself into your bed.

 – They don’t make Valentine’s Day cards for friends-with-benefits or “I think I like you but it’s too soon to tell.”

For those of you in this situation, good luck. It’s another awkward time of life.

 -We just started paying off our credit card bills from holiday shopping – our bank statements can’t handle another gift.

Personally, with the way my finances fall, I am guaranteed to be absolutely broke and literally eating ramen every single day in January and February. This is not because I’m irresponsible with Christmas spending, but because several large bills come due at this time I am unable to save for previously in the year. By the time February rolls around, I really want to get that special someone something spectacular but then have to wonder how many meals I’m going to have to skip.

 -Finding enough of another thing as rare as money for me: time

Every February I like to do something for the holiday but in working two jobs and earning my Ph.D. it’s almost an impossible task. I usually have to pull at least one all-nighter or be an unpleasant bear in order to move my schedule around and get enough done so that I can be able to even go to that dinner.

 -The amount of chocolate and candy I consume

Easter and Valentine’s Day have the best candy and chocolate EVER. Most of the year I really don’t eat a lot of sweets because I really don’t have much of a craving for them. This is blown to hell in February and April.

 -It enhances awareness that your relationship is in a rut

Everyone’s relationship has those down times, or are in a rut at some point. If that happens around Valentine’s Day it really sucks and makes you feel worse about it. When commercials and other couples are perfectly happy being sappy together, you’re left wondering what to do with your significant other. The excitement in planning a dinner or getaway is replaced with the guilt that maybe you don’t really feel like it right now.

 -It’s engagement season

My addition is that it’s “engagement season.” While I am very happy for my peeps finding the love of their life with the courage to actually ask them, all these photos of engagement rings force me to wonder where my long-term nonmoving relationship is going. Or if single, it may make one wonder if that will ever happen for them. By all means share your engagement news but don’t overdo it and be conscious if you’re telling your friend as they are sobbing from a breakup.

What do you hate about Valentine’s Day?

 Some Notes

“Ten Reasons We Hate Valentine’s Day, Marie Claire http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-things-hate-valentines-day-175700295.html (accessed January 31, 2013).

What It’s Like to Be Me…a Ph.D. college student with three jobs…and more

Published January 22, 2013 by harleyquinnly

Contrary to what the title may suggest, I am not writing this to complain about my lot in life. I am simply venting in an attempt to create an understanding of why my life (and potentially that of others) is the way it is.

This post has been a long time coming. Since beginning college at age 17/18, I have lost many friends and had several conversations/arguments of why I’m never around, always busy, or too tired to live a life similar to that of my peers. I have been accused of avoiding people, not truly living my life, giving up my young age, etc. Recently, out of frustration I told someone to please attempt to imagine what it is like to be me. He replied, “Does anyone know what it’s like to be you?” Good point, maybe this will help.

When I, often regrettably, tell someone I can’t go out because I’m tired or have homework it is because I am tired and have homework. Any single mother, serious college student, workaholic, etc. has been/is there. For example, I attend a university as a full time student to earn my Ph.D. degree. I concurrently work a forty-hour-a-week day job and teach two courses at a nearby community college. I also sell books online. Lastly, I am researching and saving maniacally to buy my first house this summer. This doesn’t leave a lot of time (or money) for going to movies, clubbing, or that elusive free time everyone keeps talking about. At the same time I am suffering from a couple of chronic illnesses and fighting a potentially life-threatening situation. Don’t you think all of these things are constantly in the back of my mind? This hinders me from being your beck-and-call girl.

Oh and I choose to be here? As in you’re insinuating my crazy schedule is completely my fault? Well yes, it totally is but excuse me for pushing myself to fulfill my ambition and dreams. How hard are you willing to work for a dream? Am I to be punished for success? (That happens but that will be another blog post later).

Despite my complaints, I do have a few very wonderful people that understand when I have to disappear at the end of each semester. They patiently wait for me to clear my schedule and resist the resentment resulting from believing I don’t want to see them. I love you guys, you rock.

So if you have someone that has been a ghost in your life lately, maybe they are actually busy or have something going on you don’t know about or don’t understand. Talk to them. Please, at least try to understand. How would you feel if you were going through that? It sounds elementary but it is amazing how many people lack empathy. Don’t immediately become offended and defensive because you feel you are no longer that person’s patron saint. Be supportive and they will definitely notice and love you for it.

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